Shallow, Headstrong and Oh, So Stupid
by JuliaDarkness
Summary: Falling in love with half a person creates a whole of a problem. And just because you have superpowers doesn't mean you're not an idiot. Or, how Ladybug and Cat Noir discover their civilian identities, and how Marinette and Adrien start dating.


**Author's note: I just discovered this show on Netflix. And fandom that has four ship names for one pairing.**

 **De fuck?**

 **Well, I'm a snarky bitch, and you people have to accept that.**

* * *

Marinette Dupain-Cheng paced the floor of her room with such anger that her parents had checked on her twice in the past hour. They said the customers could hear her stomping two floors down. Tikki watched silently as her charge threw coat hangers at the wall and screamed into a pillow. Anything she had tried to say only made the situation worse.

It had started two weeks ago.

" _Adrien," Marinette said, her face heating up. They stood at the front steps of the school. Everyone else had left for the day, but Marinette had helped Adrien look for his missing phone. She thought now was as good a time as ever._

" _Yes?" He smiled at her as he put his phone in his bag. A crumpled test they got back that day stuck out. He absentmindedly shoved it towards the bottom._

" _Will you go to the dance? With me, I mean." She clutched her own backpack straps tightly and looked at the ground. The dance was in three weeks._

 _She glanced up at Adrien after a few seconds. He scratched his head and looked anywhere but at her._

" _I'm, I'm sorry Marinette-"_

" _I understand." She turned to dart down the steps, but Adrien placed a hand on her shoulder._

" _I'm in love with someone else."_

" _Oh." Probably another model, she thought. Someone glamorous and better than her._

" _I'm really sorry, Marinette. If it wasn't for that, I'd go with you."_

" _Okay. I have to go." She ran away from his as fast as she could. The last thing she needed was for him to see her cry._

 _Whoever that girl was, Marinette hoped she knew how lucky she was._

Marinette shoved a box full of her superhero dolls in the back of her closet. They reminded her of _him._ Tikki flew down to the box.

"Marinette-"

"I don't want to talk, Tikki. Leave me alone." With a frustrated growl, she threw herself on her bed.

Suddenly, terrified cries came from outside. Marinette glanced out her window to see a giant monster attack Paris. Again.

"Maybe after you two defeat the monster," Tikki said gently, "you two can talk this out."

Marinette sighed. Her kwami was too optimistic sometimes.

"I don't think so, Tikki. Spots on!"

* * *

Cat Noir usually liked akuma fights. Not people being in danger, but the running, jumping, fighting, the thrill of it all. And he always looked forward to seeing Ladybug. But this time, his stomach churned when he saw the familiar figure in red running across rooftops. She landed near him. One icy stare from those blue eyes and he clamped his lips shut.

The monster was nothing more than a Poison Ivy knock off. Cat Noir was grateful that Hawk Moth hadn't gone after a PETA activist. The girl wore an outfit made of green fabric that looked like leaves. Her red hair flowed down to her hips. A silver laurel wreath sat on her head. She gave a standard bad guy laugh when she saw them. The plant creatures under her command stood at attention in the streets.

"My my, what do we have here?"

* * *

 _It was a week ago. Cat Noir had used his cataclysm early on in the fight. He was also knocked out, early in the fight. Ladybug had no choice but to stash her partner's unconscious body in a closet (wishing all the while that they had a sidekick or some sort of intern). The akuma was stopped, the victim was saved, and Ladybug ran to the closet just in time to see a bright flash._

 _And then. . ._

 _Adrien never made puns. He didn't have that cocky, boyish attitude. Adrien was gentle, soft spoken and a little naïve._

 _Did Cat Noir's kwami come with personality altering powers?_

 _Did his kwami come with_ drugs?

 _Was Adrien fighting crime while_ high?!

 _Adrien stirred. He sat up and saw Ladybug standing there._

" _Nice save."_

 _She silently pointed at him. He looked down, them scrambled to his feet._

" _Oh my God! Oh, oh no. I, um, yeah, hi."_

" _Hi."_

" _Hi."_

" _You already said that." Her voice was even, calm with the shock that numbed her raging thoughts._

" _Look, let me explain." He held up his hands. "This might be a good thing."_

" _Why?"_

" _Because I wanted you to know my identity." He took a deep breathe. "My name is-"_

" _Adrien Agreste, I know." She folded her arms over her chest, gripping her forearms tightly. "You're kind of famous."_

 _She wasn't sure how she felt about the boy who rejected her being her partner. The sting of But she knew she had to put her feelings aside, for the good of Paris._

 _He scratched his head and smiled bashfully, like Cat Noir. "Yeah, well, I prefer crime fighting to modeling any day, trust me."_

 _She never actually thought about whether he liked modeling or not. She just assumed he did it because his father needed a model._

" _Anyway, look, I need to tell you something."_

" _I'm listening," she said, an edge in her voice. The whole situation was incredibly awkward. He smiled at her, apparently not noticing._

" _I love you."_

 _Ladybug's mouth fell open. Adrien clasped his hands in front of him, like in prayer._

" _From the first moment I saw you, I thought you were amazing. You're strong, smart, headstrong and beautiful. I know that as superheroes we couldn't date, but now that you know . . ." he shrugged. "I'm just a boy. A boy in love with you."_

 _He rejected her because he was in love with her mask._

 _Her earrings beeped. One minute left. Adrien took Ladybug's hand._

" _Please, M'lady-"_

 _Ladybug yanked her hand away. She ran through the hall and jumped out a window. She heard Adrien call her name out. It only made her run faster._

The Venus Fly Traps sprouted up to slow her down, but they only made Ladybug run faster.

"Soon the city of Paris will face the wrath of Mother Nature!"

More plants sprang up from the ground. Ladybug jumped to the roof of the nearest building. Cat Noir landed close, but not too close to her.

"Her akuma is in her amulet," she said without looking at him. "Come on."

She dove into a nearby alleyway. Cat Noir followed behind her, silently.

* * *

Plantina (worst villain name ever, like he couldn't even mock it, it was that dumb) unleased wicked vines that shot out at Ladybug. Cat Noir cringed, ready to jump in and save her. But she jumped on top of a lamppost, out of harm's way. He didn't want her hurt. Even if he didn't want to talk to her either.

 _Five days ago, Cat Noir grabbed Ladybug's arm. They had just saved Hawk Moth's latest victim and Ladybug was a minute from changing back. She had headed for an alleyway and Cat Noir just thought, hey, why not be on the same level? Maybe if he knew her real identity, he could figure out how to woo her (or at least get her to talk to him again.) His lady was less than thrilled about his idea._

" _Let_ go _of me!"_

 _She tried to wrestle her arm free. Looking back, Cat Noir thought that, deep down, she wanted him to know. She could have fought her way free. She beat him before. But she didn't._

 _Then there was a flash, and Cat Noir stood face to face with his classmate, gamer buddy and class representative._

 _His hand fell to his side. Marinette's eyes blazed with a fury not even Chloe could match._

" _Oh," he said._

" _Oh," he said after a few seconds, understanding seeping into his voice._

" _Oh, he said right after that, his eyes widening in horror._

" _Oops."_

 _Marinette had been giving him the cold shoulder recently. Ayla and Nino asked him what was going on, but he had said he had no clue. Whenever he had waved to her, she had ducked her head and headed in the opposite direction. He wondered if she had been mad at him._

 _There was no question about that now. She looked like she was about to slap him. "Well Cat Noir, since you wanted an answer, the truth is you don't get to say 'I love you' to a girl you rejected." With the adrenaline fueled strength of a woman scorned, she shoved him out of her way. He almost fell to the ground, but caught himself._

" _Wait, wait, you're mad about that?" he asked as she walked away. "How, wait that is not my fault. I didn't know it was you. I mean, I know you were you but I didn't know you were, um, you. You know?"_

 _He wanted to kick himself. How did anyone ever find him attractive?_

 _She spun around, hand on hip. "I know that. You're in love with a celebrity in a skin tight costume."_

 _Cat Noir's jaw fell open. Where did she come up with that? Didn't she hear him saying how strong and smart and awesome she was? Did she think he was just another fanboy? After everything they've been through. He clenched his fists._

" _You're in love with a model. How is that any different?"_

" _It is completely different! It's not about you being a model."_

" _Oh, so it's because I'm rich?"_

" _Are you calling shallow?!" She stomped her foot, something he realized she did whether she wore the mask or not._

" _Well, you're calling me shallow, Princess." That was what he called Marinette as Cat Noir when he saw her once. The nickname wasn't meant to be ironic, but it came out that way._

" _That's different. I spoke to you in class. We ate together, studied together, directed a movie together, went to a concert together."_

" _And we saved the city together. You don't think that means anything?"_

" _It means I get to hear your stupid jokes and save you every other week."_

 _She thought his jokes were stupid?_

 _He winced. Of course she liked him as Adrien. He was reserved and quiet because he wasn't allowed to be anything else. She didn't like the real him._

 _Save him every other week?_

 _He was useless. He knew it. He should have just kept being homeschooled._

 _Cat Noir held his head up high, determined not to show how hurt he was. "If I annoy you so much, then maybe I should just go."_

" _Maybe you should. You have a fencing lesson soon anyway."_

 _Cat Noir frowned. "Wait, how did you know-oh my God, have you been stalking me?!"_

" _NO!" Her face turned red. She had been stalking him. The supposed love of his life had been stalking him. Sort of. She stalked part of him, but the part that loved her wasn't being stalked, which is stupid because cats make excellent stalkers-no wait, stalk-ees? He wasn't upset as much as confused. He had never tried marijuana before, but suddenly it seemed like the only way for any of this to make sense._

" _You stalked me. You probably have a bunch of pictures of me in your room-"_

" _No I don't!" Marinette stuck her face in his. Part of him was removed enough from the situation to delight at how much he bothered her. He had always loved bugging his Buggabo._

" _Wow, to think that all that I had to do to seduce you was take off my mask. Poor little fangirl Marinette."_

 _Cat Noir swore he heard her growl._

" _Wow, to think that with all stalking I did, I still had enough energy to beat your ass in videogames, combat and mathematics."_

 _Cat Noir winced. He had gotten a D on their last math test a couple weeks ago and his father was furious._

" _So you do admit to stalking me?" he asked._

" _No anymore. From this day forward I want nothing to do with you._

" _Fine."_

" _Fine."_

" _Hao."_

" _What?"_

 _Cat Noir crossed his arms. "It means 'fine' in Mandarin."_

" _What's Mandarin for pathetic?"_

 _He hadn't used his cataclysm in the fight, but he changed back to Adrien. He briskly walked past Marinette. "Good day to you, M'lady."_

" _Don't call me that," she snapped._

* * *

The vines were getting taller. They reached the top of the building now.

"We need to get to higher ground," Ladybug said. "The tower."

The two of them ran past green creations and up turned cars. Despite their lack of banter, they knew without being told that saving the city was more important than their personal problems.

"Help!"

Ladybug skidded to a stop. Her little babysitting charge was in the street. Little vines wrapped themselves around her arms and legs, pulling her into the ground. She sobbed, crying out for her mother.

"Manon!"

Ladybug jumped and landed in front of her. Her heard Cat Noir land behind her. Desperately, she tried to yank the stupid weeds off the girl. Instead, the vines snapped around her own waist and legs. She struggled against the rope like plants, but one gripped her throat.

"Ladybug!" Cat Noir pressed his leg to her body for leverage and pulled at the vines. She knew he was afraid and she wanted to reassure him it would be fine, but she was scared, too.

She was starting to have trouble breathing.

"Get . . . Manon to . . .safety," she got out before a vine covered her mouth. Cat Noir scooped up the child, who was now screaming for Ladybug. She hoped Manon didn't remember seeing this when she grew up.

She didn't want to die. She wanted to finish school, become a fashion designer, travel and have children.

"Ladybug!" Cat Noir screamed. He clawed at the vines as they gripped her tighter. Too bad they were magic.

She didn't want to die. She had to tell him she was sorry. That he wasn't a waste, that he was sweet and kind and funny whether he was wearing a mask or not. That she missed talking to him, in school or out fighting crime. He was her partner, her friend and her crush. The boy who made her laugh, made her heart beat faster every time he was near, made her feel like she wasn't a complete failure. She missed him. She needed him.

"Ladybug!"

She loved him.

"Cataclysm!"

The vines fell from her body like rags. Ladybug gulped in air. Cat Noir held her arm to steady her as she felt weakened from everything.

"How dare you!" Plantina appeared in the sky above them. "You destroyed my precious plants! You will pay for that!"

A giant vine coiled up from the ground like a python. It dove towards Cat Noir, trapping him like prey.

"No!" Ladybug screamed.

* * *

"No!" Cat Noir heard her voice, shrill with worry.

At least she was safe, he thought as he clawed at the vines. Clawed in vain, because they reformed and grabbed him in a death grip.

 _Four months ago, the shape shifting zoo keeper was de-evilized. But instead of bumping fists, Cat Noir grabbed Ladybug like a scared child grabbing a toy. He breathed in the scent of her hair and her skin to ground himself. She was here. She was safe._

 _He was never going to lose her again._

* * *

 _After Adrien left, Marinette ran home and turned the shower on full blast so her parents wouldn't hear her crying. She had done it half a dozen times in the past couple of weeks. The warm water on her skin calmed her nerves, and Tikki left her alone. She needed to think._

 _She_ was _a crazed fan girl. She was no better than Chloe. She had never stopped to think of what Adrien wanted, that maybe he felt trapped in photoshoots and fencing lessons and expectations. Instead of being a friend, much less a love, she had hit him where it hurt. She hurt him. Adrien and Cat Noir. Her crush and her partner. Marinette wouldn't blame him if he wanted nothing more to do with her._

* * *

 _Three days ago, a beaded bracelet dangled from Adrien's fingertips. It fell onto Marinette's desk._

" _I believe this is yours."_

 _It was before school. They hadn't spoken since Adrien found out Ladybug's identity, or before she had found out Cat Noir's identity, really. That wasn't lost on the rest of the class. Alya and Nino hounded him for an explanation and other classmates gave them weird looks. Later on he would find out that, just like many people in Paris knew that Cat Noir liked Ladybug, everyone in class (except him) knew that Marinette liked Adrien. Which only made the fact that he rejected her in the first place feel worse._

 _She looked at the bracelet. She had given it to him as a good luck charm when they were practicing for the videogame tournament. She had been so encouraging then. Now all he thought was that she basically called him useless._

" _Thank you," she said, putting the bracelet away. She didn't avoid his gaze or blush or flinch. Adrien supposed she was over him._

 _He wasn't over her._

 _But as he turned around, something reminded him of one rainy day not too long ago._

" _Do you still have my umbrella?"_

 _Marinette looked at Adrien like he had slapped her. He winced. Was she still in love with him after all?_

" _Of course," she said quietly. She rummaged through her backpack._

 _He was well aware Nino and Alya, and a few other students, watching them. He should have done this somewhere else._

" _Here." She offered him his umbrella. He took it and for one second, their hands touched. Then he turned around and shoved the umbrella in his backpack._

" _Settle down, class," their teacher said. Adrien got out his notebook and pretended his heart wasn't breaking piece by piece._

" _How do two people break up when they haven't even dated," Alix whispered to Nathanial._

" _They do it a lot in America," he whispered back. "I see it on TV all the time."_

* * *

 _Bam._ Plantina flew into the side of a brick apartment building. The force was enough to knock several bricks loose. The sound of bones cracking was heard over the silence of the onlookers in the street. Ladybug snapped the silver circlet over her knee. She captured and purified the akuma without a word.

As the magic of her miraculous wiped the damage away, Cat Noir fell to the ground. Only a soft groan told her he was still breathing. Ladybug, fueled by adrenaline, managed to hoist his body over her shoulder. She turned and walked to the bystanders with their phones. She had a message to send.

"Hear this Hawk Moth," she yelled. "I may have the power of creation, but hurt him again, and I will _destroy you."_

Then she jumped up to a roof top and she and her partner disappeared into the night.

* * *

It was so warm and cozy. That was his first reaction when he regained consciousness. This couldn't be his room. It was too homey. And pink. He was tucked into Marinette's bed in her little attic room. She was nowhere to be seen.

An alert beeped on his phone. Like everyone else in the class, he followed Alya's blog. It was mostly out of courtesy. He didn't feel the need to read a blog about someone he fought crime with every day. (He was very glad Cat Noir never got the same fame as Ladybug. He had enough fan girls as it was.)

 _Are Ladybug and Cay Noir Dating?_

Adrien sat straight up. What?!

The blog told the story of what happened that day, right to when he passed out. After that, apparently in addition to using her lucky charm, Ladybug used her yoyo string as a garrotte and nearly strangled the villain of the week. Adrien winced at the sound of Plantina choked breaths, and the look in his partner's eyes almost scared him. At the end there was a clip of Ladybug holding Cat Noir over her shoulder after the fight and screaming threats at Hawk Moth. She threatened the bad guy. For him.

Adrien had a bodyguard, but never in his life had he felt so protected as right then. He felt like he was the princess in those stories where the knight slayed dragons and ogres and monsters to save his lady love. He liked feeling like that. Safe. Wanted. Loved, even.

The room, he realized, felt the same. He remembered practicing videogames with Marinette and thinking the room and the rest if the house smelled like bread. He loved that smell. He loved that her parents checked up on them and offered food and welcomed him so easily. He loved this house. It reminded him of Marinette.

The door popped open and Marinette came in carrying a tray with a mug and a plate of croissants. As soon as she set the tray next to the bed, he shoved one in his mouth.

"I'm glad to see you're awake."

"Yeah, me too."

Plagg floated out of Marinette's pocket. He flew up to land on Adrien's head.

"He was hungry," she said. Adrien panicked for a moment before he remembered that Marinette had a kwami, too.

"There's so many kinds of cheese in there!" He pointed to the door. "I should have lived here instead."

"Wow, so much for loyalty." He laughed. Marinette smiled and patted Plagg's head. Another kwami, this one red with black spots, flew into view.

"Hello Adrien. It's very nice to meet you. I'm Tikki." She had this high pitched voice, like a small child or a pixie. He never thought much about what Ladybug's kwami would be like (Plagg just said she was the spirit of creation and the oldest of them all). It wasn't hard to imagine her and Marinette getting along, though.

"Hi, Tikki."

"We're so relieved that you're alright." To his surprise, she bopped her head on his cheek in a sign of affection.

"Tikki, why don't you and Plagg go downstairs to keep watch in case my parents come back?"

"Okay," she agreed. Tikki and Plagg darted down the latter and the room was quiet with just the two of them. Marinette carefully sat down at the foot of the bed.

"So," she said.

"So."

"I think we need to talk," they both said in unison, then blushed.

"Um, you first," Adrien said, scratching his head. Marinette hugged her knees to her chest and didn't look at him.

"I'm sorry about everything. You're not any of the things I said. You're kind and smart and special. And I wouldn't be here without you."

"I'm sorry, too."

"And I'm sorry for stalking you."

"I'm sorry for thinking about you so much that I used up all my hand lotion."

Marinette snapped her head up and her jaw open. For an incredibly long second, Adrien wondered if he should throw himself out the window now or at home. But suddenly, Marinette bent over laughing. She laughed so hard she let go of her knees and her body leaned towards Adrien. He started laughing, too.

"This is so crazy," he said. "This is like the weirdest thing ever.

Marinette wiped tears from her eyes. "We're in a love triangle with ourselves."

"Still a better love story than Twilight."

And as soon as she recovered, she was laughing again. She laughed until she snorted. Adrien could tell by the way she covered her mouth that she hated her snort, but he thought it was the cutest thing ever. As she caught her breath, Adrien scooted closer to her.

"So, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Why did you fall in love with Adrien and not Cat Noir?"

She curled one hand around the other. "I guess, well, Adrien got to me first."

"Huh? But you hated me the first time we met."

She grinned at him. "Do you remember when you gave me your umbrella?"

"Yeah. I remember being really happy because I had a friend."

"Well, that was when, when I . . ." Her face turned red. "That was when I fell in love with you."

"Oh," he said. Plagg was right after all, at least with her.

"It was just so sweet. You're sweet. You were trying to be nice after everything I said to you. And you never badmouthed Chloe or anyone, ever. You're nice to everyone. I wasn't used to people being nice to me."

"Cat Noir is nice, too."

"I know, but I was freaking out so much when I became Ladybug that I wasn't even paying attention to you. I was klutzy and I failed the first time-"

"You were new. We both were, and-"

"I tired giving my Miraculous to Alya."

"What?!" He grabbed her hands and accidentally pulled her towards him. She looked up at him, finally.

"Marinette, _you_ were meant to be Ladybug. Not Alya or anyone else."

"I was scared. I thought Alya would do it better than me, so I tried sneaking it into her backpack but it didn't work." She looked down again.

"I'm glad it didn't." He cupped her chin in his hand, gently pulling her face to his. "Because I wouldn't trade what we went through for anything in the world."

Her eyes were shining. She blinked several times. Adrien realized they were watering. He pulled her body towards him. His arms curled around her shoulders and her waist and it felt so natural, like he had been doing it forever. At first she was startled stiff, but as he rested his head next to her neck her muscles relaxed. Her breathing deepened. Her cheek touched his, and it was warm, not wet.

"I understand if you don't love me anymore," he whispered. "But please don't leave me. Please don't leave, Marinette." His own eyes became wet, but he blinked that away.

She hugged his neck so tightly it almost hurt. "Oh, Adrien."

"'Please."

"I'm not leaving you, mon Cheri." Her fingers felt their way through his hair. "I promise."

* * *

 _Four months ago. It was her first time in his bedroom. They were hiding from Simon Says, and Adrien had just gotten out of the shower (or just transformed back, she realized). She saw his screensaver of his mother._

" _She's got your eyes," she told him._

 _He must have missed her so much, she thought. She couldn't imagine losing her mother._

 _And it was losing, not dying. No one knew exactly what happened to her. Rumor was that she left her husband for a younger man, or had been taken out by the mob. (Why an international fashion designer would need mob connections was never explained.) Adrien never talked about her. But on Christmas he ran away from home. She guessed it had to do with her._

"I'm not leaving you, mon Cheri." Her fingers felt their way through his hair. "I promise."

She would give her Miraculous to never see him hurt again.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, basking in a sense of comfort both of them desperately needed. But eventually Marinette gently pulled away. She faced him.

"Why did you fall in love with Ladybug?"

"Because you're so amazing." He grinned. "When you de-evilized all of those akuma and saved Ivan, I just knew you were the one. You told off Hawk Moth and everything."

Funny, she didn't recall that as amazing. Angry, protective perhaps. Marinette never thought of herself as amazing. But the way Adrien looked at made her wonder.

"I always looked forward to battling monsters," he continued. "Not just to see you, but that's a big part of it. But because I feel the most like myself when I'm Cat Noir. I can run around and say stupid things and not have to try to be perfect all the time."

All this time Marinette was idolizing this boy, but she didn't even know what he was really like. What he'd gone through, what he

Or did she?

"You know, we didn't just fall in love with each other. We also became each other's best friends." She held one of his hands in hers and traced the lines of his palm with her fingers. "We were there for each other in uniform and out, through good times and bad. I think that says something."

"So what do we do now? Should we, I mean, do you want to . . ."His eyes darted everywhere but her face. Yet Marinette was strangely calm.

"I have an idea."

* * *

The next day, Adrien wished his parents were bakers.

Meat pie, Belgium chocolate cake, warm croissants. The picnic basket Marinette carried was what dreams were made of. A small bag of a familiar cheese stuck out the top as well.

Marinette said it would only make sense for the two of them to go on a date to see if they were compatible. Rushing into things, she said, would hurt them and their crime fighting. Adrien couldn't complain. His lady and he were not only on speaking terms, but spending a day together. And food. Food was nice.

The two of them set out a beach towel in a secluded corner of a park, with trees and rocks creating enough shadows to hide their kwamis. Plagg and Tikki helped themselves to the food offered to them, then flew several feet away to give them privacy. Adrien couldn't hear their whispered conversation, but from the glances and grins he guessed that it went along the lines of they look so cute together/aw, look at loverboy blush.

Marinette spread out the food. Without thinking, Adrien crammed two croissants into his mouth. Marinette frowned.

"Slow down Adrien, there's no rush."

He gulped the bread down. "Sorry." Great, she would be turned off by his manners. "I'm just hungry."

"You always seem hungry." Her blue eyes gazed at his face with concern. It made him uncomfortable.

"Are you eating enough?"

"I'm fine. It's just that my diet is regulated because I'm a model and my father just controls things, but now that I'm Cat Noir and doing all this stuff, you know, running around . . ." He took a sip from a water bottle. "Really, Marinette, it's fine."

"Luckily for you, I live in a bakery." She plopped a chocolate in her mouth and smiled. "My parents won't mind a few pastries here and there."

His father would mind a few kilograms, though.

"Marinette-"

"Adrien." Her voice was suddenly Ladybug's voice, no nonsense and no arguing. "I want to make sure you're okay, because I care about you. A lot of people care about you. Besides, you need energy to fight villains, right?"

Adrien sighed. "Alright." He loved and hated her stubbornness.

She pressed her lips to his cheek, a quick, light kiss.

"Thank you, mon Cheri."

"Is that my nickname then?" Anything to change the subject.

"I've been thinking about that, actually." They both reached for a pie at the same time. Rather than awkwardly insisting the other person take it, Adrien reached for a different one.

"What have you been thinking?"

"I think we need separate nicknames for our superhero and civilian identities. That way, no one will overhear us and figure things out."

"Okay." He loved nicknames. "I already call you Milady and Bugaboo when we're superheroes."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure how I feel about Bugaboo."

"Come on, it's cute. Just like you."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Okay, fine. But what about when we're at school?"

Adrien munched on his pie thoughtfully. "My love?"

Marinette lay back on the towel. She looked up at the trees.

"I don't know, maybe."

"What are my nicknames?"

"As Adrien, mon Cheri and sweetie. As Cat Noir, kitty and my hero."

"Is my hero going to be said sarcastically?"

"No." She stared up at the trees. The broken sunlight made patterns on her face.

"Do you remember when Alix was akumatized and I said you could die?"

"Yeah?"

"That's because in the other time line, you took the blow for me." She reached out for his hand without looking at his face. Their fingers locked together.

"You're my hero, Adrien."

She sat up. Emboldened, he suddenly lay his head in her pink panted lap. He closed his eyes, and instead of saying anything, he felt fingers brush through his hair, kind of like how his mom used to do when he was little. They sat like that for a while. He almost fell asleep.

After lunch, they headed over to a nearby arcade, dark and loud with the voices of teenagers. They picked a two person space invader type game. Side by side they sat in blue plastic chairs. Maybe it was a testament to how comfortable they had gotten with each other, but when their arms brushed against each other as they furiously pressed buttons, neither one so much as flinched.

Adrien had never had a specific "type" in his head, he never planned on who he fell in love with. But he had always hoped whoever she was, she would like the some of the same stuff as him.

"Winner," the mechanic game voice yelled. "Marinette-2600 points."

She pumped her arms in the air. "Yes!"

He got his wish.

"Wow, you're so good."

"Thanks. Oh, I forgot." Marinette fished in her jacket pocket and pulled out the lucky bracelet again. "Hold out your hand."

He did as she asked. As she tied the bracelet on, he realized how much she was wearing the pants in their relationship. Good. The only time he was ever really in charge of something, baking soda, vinegar and papier-Mache volcano parts covered him, Alix, Ivan and half the science classroom.

"There. Now you can do anything. Not that you couldn't do a lot, before."

"Like what?"

"Adrien, you speak fluent Mandarin, fence, fight at a blue belt level and you have good grades. Plus you model."

"Yeah. But I don't want to model for a living."

They slipped out of their seats. Marinette collected her tickets and they made their way over to the counter.

"What do you want to do, then?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Um, I'll try my hardest."

Adrien groaned. "I want to be a magician."

"A magician? Is that why, when we stopped the Magician of Misfortune, you knew how he did all is tricks?" They had stopped a random stage magician from making the Eiffel Tower disappear a few months ago.

"Yeah. If I were in civilian mode then I would have asked him for some tips. I don't know, it's just cool, performing, doing magic. Like I'm a trickster god from some old myth. My mom was the only one who watched me do it, though. I think people think it's lame."

At the prize counter, Marinette passed an employee her tickets. She studied the shelves. Adrien propped his elbows against the counter, trying to act cool even as he was rambling.

"I want that." She pointed to a black top hat near the top. As soon as she got it, she put it on Adrien's head.

"Show me some magic."

* * *

"Ta da!" Adrien held out his hand. The queen of hearts, which had just mysteriously disappeared, now sat on his palm. Marinette clapped.

"Bravo!"

Adrien bowed, careful not to fall over the side of the boat.

When Marinette went on a boat ride with the Evilistrator, she thought how nice it would be to go on a date like that with Adrien. The reflection of the lights of Paris on the water was beautiful. The air smelled like water and flowers. Everything felt so peaceful.

Water splashed up on her face and shirt.

Or they would be, if Adrien hadn't decided to start a water fight.

As the sun set, the two teens scurried around a motorboat Adrien had rented. He had started it by accident by running his hand in the cool water of the river and shaking droplets all over her. Soon they were soaking wet. After they called a truce, Adrien lounged against the port of the boat.

"Wow, our first date and I'm already making you wet." He moved his eyebrows up and down in what he must have thought was a suggestive manner. It looked ridiculous.

"Adrien!" Marinette sat at the center of the boat, near the extra life jacket she considered throwing at him.

"On that note, water you doing tomorrow?" He winked.

The more time they spent together, the more Marinette was able to reconcile a masked boy and a boy wearing a mask. As the day had worn on, Adrien seemed more and more like Cat Noir-dorky, excited and hyperactive. Knowing more about his home life made the puns easier to bare-for all that money, Adrien was definitely neglected-but that still didn't mean she thought they were funny.

"Adrien, I'm warning you." She put her hands hips.

"I'm sorry I have a naturally bubbly personality."

"That's it!" She scooted over to him, poked his stomach and was rewarded by a high pitched shriek. He darted over to the other side of the boat.

"I'll give you something to laugh about, young man." She chased after him. They ran around the boat, ignoring Tikki's warnings, until Marinette slipped in a little puddle. She would have fallen if Adrien hadn't pulled her by the waist. He pressed her body close to his.

"Marinette, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She lightly tapped his nose. "And you, Adrien, are the silliest kitty I have ever met." She wrapped her arms around his neck. He nuzzled her hair.

Suddenly, fireworks exploded in the distance. Their light danced over the water, sending a warm glow over them.

"I have an idea," Marinette said. "But it's kind of cheesy."

"Well then at least Plagg will approve."

Plagg's snores were audible from under the jacket he was bundled up in.

Marinette led him the back of the boat. She set up her phone and loud speakers, then rested he head against Adrien's shoulder. Tikki snuggled under the jacket, not so subtly watching them. A familiar tune began to play.

"I know it's stupid, but I'm like the biggest fan of Disney. My parents and I go to Disneyland Paris every year on my birthday." Marinette quivered with excitement.

Adrien didn't say anything, but pulled her closer to him. As the words appeared on the screen, Marinette sang.

"All those days watching from the windows, all those years outside looking in. All that time, never even knowing just how blind I've been."

That was an understatement.

"Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight." She brushed her hand against his face. "Now I'm here, suddenly I see. Standing here, it's all so clear, I'm where I'm meant to be."

Her singing voice was alright. Not great, but not terrible. As she sang, Adrien ran his fingers through her hair. She liked that.

"All those days, chasing down a daydream. All those years, living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were."

His voice wasn't perfect, either. He was off key, for one thing. But he cupped her face in his hands and she looked in his eyes and wanted this moment to go on and on and on.

"Now she's here, shining in the starlight. Now she's here, suddenly I know. Now she's here, it's crystal clear, I'm where I'm meant to go."

"And at last I see the light."

"And it's like the fog has lifted." He kissed her hand, just like so many times before.

"And at last I see the light."

"And it's like the sky is new." She clasped his hands in hers.

"And it's warm and real and bright. And the world has somehow shifted."

Their singing needed work, but they were pretty good at harmonizing.

"All at once, everything is different, now that I see you."

He leaned into her. Her eyes closed.

"Now that I . . . see . . . you."

Before he could kiss her, an explosion sent wavers through the river and almost knocked their boat over.

"Seriously?" Adrien groaned.

She ruffled his hair. "Duty calls, mon Cheri. Tikki, spots on!"

"Plagg, claws out!"

* * *

As far as villains go, this one wasn't that bad. A guy was mad he was outbid on some boat, wanted the Rhine River for himself, blah blah blah. Cat Noir wouldn't have given it any mind except for what happened at the end.

As the sea serpent/Nessie knock off turned back into a pet fish, its tentacle smacked Ladybug on the back of the head. She fell into the rushing water of the river. Cat Noir dove in after.

The water was dark, but her red clothes stood out against the murkiness. As he swam, it was like time had slowed down. Her closed eyes, her slightly open mouth, her body drifting away in the current. Maybe his heart slowed down from shock and cold, and everything else slowed with it.

She said she wouldn't leave.

Cat Noir kicked against the water. He stretched out his hand, desperate to grasp hers. His skin was starting to numb. With a last stich effort of panicked adrenaline, his fingers gripped around her wrist. He pulled her up with him to the surface. When her head broke the water, her eyes were still closed. He dragged her to shore. The crowd that had gathered backed up to give him room.

Press one, press two. Pinch her nose. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat. Press one, press two. Pinch her nose. Breathe-

Ladybug coughed into his mouth. Her eyes opened suddenly.

"What-"

"Mar-My lady." In his relief he had almost called her by her real name. No one seemed to have heard except her. She coughed up more water and smiled at him.

"My hero. I'm alright." She coughed again and he helped her sit up.

"I was so scared."

"It's okay, mon Cheri." Her hand gripped his. She tried to stand and ended up falling against his chest. He held her there.

"My head hurts a little, that's all. Unfortunately, I'm not as headstrong as I thought." She coughed again, less intensely this time. (Their superhero powers _were_ supposed to make them nearly invincible.)

He kissed her head. "Luckily, the water isn't as shallow as us."

"Or as stupid."

"My lady, my love, may I kiss you?"

She nodded.

Cat Noir dipped Ladybug back like two dancers in a tango. Then they kissed with everything they had. They kissed like they were kissing away a goddamn war. It was raw, unpracticed, passionate and awkward all that the same time. Their lips mashed together hard and soft and quickly, always quickly. In movies there would have been a swell of violin music. Instead, they kissed to the cheers of Paris. That was just as good.

Only the beeps of their Miraculouses broke them apart. They darted away over the rooftops as onlookers shouted congrats and good lucks. When they reached another park, they dove into the bushes just as they transformed back.

They helped each other out of the shrubbery and pulled branches out of their hair.

"Marinette, will you go to the dance with me?"

She smiled at him. "I'm sorry, Adrien." She tapped his ring. "I'm in love with someone else."

* * *

No one in Adrien and Marinette's class knew what to make of them.

They spend months as just friends (except pretty much everyone knew that Marinette was crushing on Adrien. It was kind of obvious.) Then out of nowhere they avoid each other and give each other back their stuff like two ex's. And all of a sudden they showed up at the dance arm in arm and were out on the dance floor laughing at the fact that neither one of them could dance.

The only reason no one besides Alya and Nino were asking any questions was that bigger events were going on.

Rose asked Juleka to the dance.

Very few people at their school were openly gay. The story was that Juleka had gotten drunk last week at a party and kissed Rose behind a bush. After an initial freak out, they had decided to go on a date-picnic at the park, dance on a rooftop, boat rode that was interrupted by an akuma and two superheroes lip locking (Rose said it was super romantic, like a Disney movie). At the end of the night, they had kissed again. And Rose asked her to the dance.

Chloe, Sabrina, Kim and a few kids from other classes called out names. Marinette broke from Adrien's arms long enough to tell them off. Nino asked them if they were nervous on their date. Max wanted to know which one led the dance. Alix wondered which one paid. Mylene invited them to a double date brunch with her and Ivan next weekend. Nathanael offered to draw them together.

So no one paid any attention to a certain pair of lovebirds except their best friends. Adrien spun an incredible, somewhat believable tale involving a bad joke, terrible phone service and two muggers that Adrien knocked out with a metal pipe. After a few minutes, Alya and Nino wished them well and agreed to go to the movies together the following week.

At the end of the night, it had begun to rain. Adrien wrapped an arm around Marinette. He opened his umbrella and walked the two of them to his bodyguard's car. A loud crack of thunder echoed through the city as he opened the door for her. The two lovers rode off into the night, ready to face the world together.

* * *

 **Author's other note: Well fuck it, this turned out way longer and sappier than I had originally intended. Eh, whatever.**

 **But seriously, how the fuck have they not figured it out by? Maybe they're both high. Plot twist.**


End file.
